Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
