my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
