He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
