Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
