porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
