put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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