it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
