i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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