I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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