I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize