he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
