True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize