Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
