so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize