the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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