I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize