Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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