Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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