phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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