We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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