Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize