I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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