Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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