How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
