She announced her abortion via fbk
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
