My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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