The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
