porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
the liver wants what the liver wants
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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