Your tits are I can't wait for
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
