I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
