So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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