question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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