? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
