so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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