Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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