I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
