So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
