So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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