just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
