Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
