he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize