So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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