even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
