Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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