he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
