he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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