You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
