you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
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She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
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There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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