he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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