The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think your dad took our porno
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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