I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
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woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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