so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
