ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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