Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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