goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
