with your own penis?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
