He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
