I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize