i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
