I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
