I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize