Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
