I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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